So here we are again, at that time of the year: Christmas. What do you think about Christmas? Do you love it? Are you excited about it? Will you celebrate this wonderful holiday with your loved ones? Ahh.. I have so many questions to ask you strangers, because to me, Christmas is rather strange. Almost 21 years I've been around, and I still can't figure out how to feel about this.
So I leave you these random thoughts, hoping that I'm not the only one out there with these things in mind.
 |
| Gif from Cindy |
1. When I was little, I thought Santa was real. I never met him, but my sister and I always got presents when we woke up on Dec 25. For me, it was enough evidence. I even made a poem about it:
We went to sleep,
nothing was there,
then we woke up,
presents everywhere!!
It was magic!
2. My parents told me to write Santa every year, even when we're not christian. I remember asking them:
"We're not Christian. We don't go to the church. Why does Santa still visit us?"
"Santa's very generous. He gives gifts to all good kids."
"Why does Santa hang our presents on the door knob? He always climb down chimneys on TV."
"Oh sweetie, we don't have a chimney, do we? So Santa's gotta find another way."
And I believed every word.
 |
| From shakeshack |
3. When I was 10, the truth came out. I was having trouble sleeping, so I got up to drink some water, and then I saw him, Santa! He was hanging a bag full of presents in beautiful wrapping on the door. He was my grandfather!!! I was a bit shocked, and quietly sneaked back to my bed. I remember staring at the ceiling and trying to process the truth. And when I get it, I was so happy. "I have the best family in the world!" that's what I thought. And I still do.
4. Growing up to know that my family is the real Santa, the magic fades a little bit. But it's ok, I'd rather have what's real than what's not. I also got more realistic. After the reveal, every time my parents asked me what I want for Christmas, instead of asking for fancy toys, I just told them that "Santa knows best," and "whatever he gives me I'm gonna like it" ^_^
 |
| I love you Santa! |
5. As time flied, I also grew some inches. When I was a teenagers, I learn to give gifts. And it felt so good. Whether it's just a candy, a Christmas card, or a small gift, it always cheers me up to see a smile on a friend's face. I didn't always get a gift back, but I didn't care. Just hearing "Thanks! I love it!" was enough.
 |
| Giving is a good thing ^_^ |
6. But then came a dark time when Christmas was such a terrible thing to me. I think it's because of my forever-alone-vision, which makes all good things seem terrible. From high school to university, I was surrounded by couples. I see love everywhere I go, smothered by love but not being a part of it makes it worse on the holidays. And snap! Just like that, Christmas and all other holidays just became couple-special-time. As if being alone wasn't enough, my friends kept asking me what to give their bf/gf. I hated it, to my guts!
 |
| anti-social hab =,= |
Because couples ruined Christmas for me, I had to turn to other littles thing that makes me like Christmas again, like...
7. Socks!!! I was given socks for Christmas for years. And I love it!!
8. Putting my red clothes to good use. Coco Chanel said "When in doubt, wear red", so I've got lots of red. It's a good thing that Christmas comes around (:
9. Christmas shopping. My gosh.. all the shiny little things are just beautiful! I love picking out cards and little presents, and get lost in all the shining lights. And the sales too!! Whoaaa.. they got me all hyper and sht. Haha.
10. Christmas Specials!!! Every show has its Christmas Special and they are often awesometacular >o<
 |
| The Simpsons |
 |
| Adventure Time |
Looking back now I think number 6 is pretty funny. I'm over that stage. Why being sorrow while you can enjoy? It's Christmas for God sake! It's the time to celebrate! It doesn't matter anymore that I haven't found the other hab. It's the ones I got right now that matter. My family, my friends, my little students. They are the ones I care about, and the reason I celebrate Christmas even when I'm not a christian.
I've lost so much this year, and learnt the hard way that when you care about someone, tell them. So I'm not holding back anymore. The love untold is the one not understood. Giving gifts and showing love is the real meaning of Christmas to me.
Happy Holidays strangers! I hope I see you one day.
 |
| <3 |
Love,
hab
